Back when I was younger, which was before now, I did one of those degree things where you move out of home, spend lots of money on booze, and then hopefully get a grade based on your ability to miss lectures. My chosen subject (or did it choose me?) was French. It was essentially the subject I was least poor at; Economics left my brain in the red, German sounded all Greek to me, and the sciences dumped me in a chemically, biologically and physically bereft state.

As part of my course, I was lucky enough to spend my third year abroad and Grenoble chose me. For those of you whose Geography knowledge stretches to "ox-bow lake" (i.e. me), Grenoble is in the Alps towards the Italian border and is subsequently surrounded by mountains, prompting Stendhal to say that "there is a mountain at the end of every street". It's an incredibly beautiful place and one which I've wanted to go back to, but had never managed to until the weekend just gone (two paragraphs of drivel to get to the point...)

Details are sparse, but myself and four other ex-Grenoblois took ourselves there and visited all our old haunts, sang all the old tunes, and spent most of Saturday in bed hungover. One girl, in extreme dedication to the cause, decided to fall in love on her year abroad and ended up marrying a French lad. She now lives there with said French beau and similarly French cat, Clawed.

Anyway, here's a picture in which everyone is sober...

Alternative film synopses

A little while ago, I was using my weekday time efficiently by coming up with soundalike film titles and their subsequent plotlines. Here are some of my efforts...

A war hero tires of using the stairs - Schindler's Lift
Kevin Costner resolves his intimacy issues - The Touchables
The love life of a field of wheat - The Rye Who Loved Me
Use of Israelis in the German motor industry - Beetlejews
Magic, but only between April and June - Matrix
Japanese leader becomes obese - The Vast Emperor
Biopic of Jesus's little known London Underground journey to the cross - The Last Ten Stations of Christ
Sequel to the Sixth Sense set in Alaska - Icy Dead People

Back scratching

A fellow blogger has posted a link on his site and with no risk of sounding over enthusiastic, I feel obliged to reciprocate. http://www.petty.me.uk/?reindex=y

An ode

Dorsal

Fin

Am I though?

"Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough."

So says William Saroyan who according to the omniscient internet, was an American author whose stories celebrated optimism in the middle of trials and difficulties of the Depression-era. He said other stuff too - http://www.williamsaroyan.org/quotes.html

I had planned on commenting on what he said, but I can't be bothered to make the effort. I can't help thinking that William would have been proud of me...

I'm going to the opera!! I've never been before and now I have a ticket for my birthday in November. I'm far from a cultural abyss, but so far opera and I have never climbed into bed together and nuzzled. We've passed in the street and perhaps exchanged glances, yet always knowing we could never be together.

It's Madam Butterfly since you ask and the gist is, "the love story of a Japanese orphan, Butterfly, who marries a care free American". Presumably, other stuff happens too, but I look forward to being surprised. Apparently, half the score is "advert music", so I should recognize at least some of it while puffing away on my nice cigar or wondering at the whiteness of my whites.

The gigs I normally go to are along the lines of the Divine Comedy or Ben Folds. I like standing at concerts, but not being the tallest, often find myself tucked away behind Lofty and his mate Loftier. There should be a five minute period before every concert when people arrange themselves in height order, so that the vertically challenged can see for once. Failing that, force the tall ignorant gig-goer to stand behind an even taller freak and see how they like it. For double punishment, make them carry out this penance at a David Gray concert. No, hang on, that's just too cruel...

Venn?

I have decided, based on no real fact, that there is a direct correlation between how much I weigh, how much I spend, and how I feel about myself.

• If I eat less, I am spending less money on snacking and that makes me feel good.
• If I feel good about myself, I am inclined to eat less and therefore spend less.
• If I spend less, it means I'm snacking less and that makes me feel good.

Understand?! Possibly a bucket of tripe, but it's worth giving a go.

To that end, I've started keeping a diary of all I am spending, but it doesn't make pretty reading. Unfortunately, I've had to fork out for things like football and drama subs this week. On Monday, I spent about £80 with nothing tangible to show for it at the end of the day. That's madness. To make ends meet, I may have to sell one of my livers (copyright Homer Simpson).

Here ends undoubtedly my most boring post to date. If I've pressed the wrong button and published this instead of deleting it, you have my sympathies and apologies.