Alternative film synopses

A little while ago, I was using my weekday time efficiently by coming up with soundalike film titles and their subsequent plotlines. Here are some of my efforts...

A war hero tires of using the stairs - Schindler's Lift
Kevin Costner resolves his intimacy issues - The Touchables
The love life of a field of wheat - The Rye Who Loved Me
Use of Israelis in the German motor industry - Beetlejews
Magic, but only between April and June - Matrix
Japanese leader becomes obese - The Vast Emperor
Biopic of Jesus's little known London Underground journey to the cross - The Last Ten Stations of Christ
Sequel to the Sixth Sense set in Alaska - Icy Dead People